Hello pretties,
Oh my, it has been soooo long since I posted. I am so happy to be back with you my lovely readers and friends, missed ya’ lots. Life has been quite challenging with the passing of my Sister and the recent passing of my Dad. A loved one’s passing is a sad time, but a very busy time for you and your family as you plan for their homecoming. This isn’t a sad post, but I wanted to share some observations to help. As my Daddy always said, “You can’t stay here!” so all of us will go through this process and maybe someone will find these tidbits helpful.

On Losing A Loved One

1. Have a conversation with parents, siblings, aunts, etc. about final plans. Yes I know, don’t nobody want to talk about that stuff. But, believe me, it takes a load off of you and your family to know someone’s last wishes. For years, my sister and I wanted pink caskets, that’s just real talk. I felt good knowing we could honor her wishes. Have the talk and right it down – including wills and services.
2. People will offer all kinds of help, accept it!! One of my friends offered to cut my grass. I was raised to be a strong, independent woman, but when things like this happen, you need help and people want to help. Most women take care of everybody else, take the superwoman cape off and let folk take care of you. Made all the difference for me.
3. It is expensive – limos, dove releases, urns, flowers, programs, that stuff adds up. But don’t get stressed about these details. Remember tip #1? Well it helps with this tip because you would have had the conversation about the service, memorial or whatever your loved one wanted. Sticker shock averted.
4. Not everyone will be kind. This was a shocker for me. My phone was blowing up and many days I did not answer it. Most everyone understood and did not take it personally. They just kept calling and texting. I had one person to respond negatively, I addressed it and moved on. No time for other people’s stuff. Appreciate the folks that understand grief. They will keep calling and texting until you are ready!
5. There are no rules to grieving. Some days, you might cry all day. Some days you might go on as if things haven’t changed. Do YOU! Do not let anybody tell you how to grieve. For me, prayer and meditation have made the pain of loss easier to bear.

We are missing my Dad something awful. He was such a cool dude, for real. 100% straight shooter with a love of politics, history, music (#1 Ray Charles Fan), NASCAR, drag racing and most of all, The Corvette, America’s sport car. We will keep his memory in our hearts.

See, told you it would not be a sad post! Thank you so much for your condolences, very much appreciated. This is all part of the Cycle of Life that we all share.

I am back to a regular schedule of posting at least 3 times a week of fashion, home decor, travel and all kinds of stuff in between! And the 4th blogaversary for robincharmagne is right around the corner, look for some fun stuff.

Have a fab week pretties!

Linking with these lovely bloggers.

Hello pretties,
Truth and Love is on my mind today. I have missed you, my lovely friends and I am glad to be back. Life hit me and my family with a sledge hammer. Last year I posted about my sister Nickey’s cancer and sadly, she transitioned from this life. Today I want to tell you my little sister.

I have said many times Nickey was my real life baby doll. Me and my twin John were never mad at having a little sister. We have adored and spoiled her from day one. I want to leave you with two things about my sister Nickey:

First, Nickey was a truth teller. If y’all remember the episode of The Real Housewives Atlanta, when Sheree said, “Who gon check me boo?” Well Nickey was my checker, because she would as they say keep it 100 and she did just that. Rather than let me veer down a bad path, she would tell me my poop stinked. She called you on your stuff, never with a mean spirit or with malice, but done with so much humor. Nickey really should have been a comedian! Like my Mama, she was naturally funny and with a quick wit. I do believe she missed her calling. It is a blessing to have someone in your life who makes you a better person.

Second, Nickey touched a lot of people, she loved people. I cannot tell you how many times we would be on the phone and she would be telling me about somebody she met at Family Dollar and how she had inspired, motivated, or encouraged a random person in the span of 5 minutes in the checkout line. Nickey was afraid to show love to a total stranger. She could look beyond people’s faults and see their best parts. Non-judgemental. It is a blessing to have someone in your life who loves all of you, flaws and all.

Nickey was really a unique person with a booming personality. Like a cross between Lola Falana and Xena Warrior Princes. It seems like I just talked to her and now she is gone. I have heard people say they have a hole in their heart with the loss of a loved one. And, I don’t think I really quite got it. Like most of us, I would say my condolences, but not until now do I understand that feeling of sadness and loss. I have a hole in my heart. But, I have resolved to take my sister’s gifts of truth and love and put them in that hole to honor her memory. I will miss my baby doll. Rest in peace Nickey!

Linking with these lovely bloggers.